Last week was interesting for me. I was studying for an upcoming exam on tissues and skin. It was absolutely fascinating learning about the human body. How just by observing a person's skin for the first time can give you clues as to how healthy the person is. Fascinating, huh? I couldn't wait to learn more...my mind was like a sponge. Taking Chemistry and Biology was utterly frustrating, since it didn't get into the nitty-gritty stuff that I wanted to learn... Oh...how I wanted to learn more...
Towards the end of the week, I could see/sense that my children were not getting all the attention and help they needed due to me studying. As many of you know, this is Alycia's first year in Jr. High...and we all know how stressful and hectic that can be...it's been quite an adjustment. Since she's in the gifted program, there are a lot of expectations that need to be met. She needed her mother.
Joseph has been doing well in school so far, but he's starting to get frustrated with the workload. A new schedule needed to be posted to make sure he stayed on task....oh, how I love that visual cue for him.... I've been noticing that he's talking to me more about his day and about his Legos... This has come as a surprise, as some of you know....he's our quiet little guy... I need to encourage this.... He needs his mother.
On Thursday, I found myself frustrated that I had accidentally left my beloved flashcards I had spent hours writing at my doctor's office. Of course they threw them away by the time I had realized I left them there. What a frustrating day! As I was helping the kids with their homework, I found myself thinking about the exam....
That evening I had a strong impression that I needed to put schooling on hold for a bit... The selfish part of me kept telling me that I should think of myself and further my studies so that I could work and help put the kids through college. The mom in me told me that my family came first...that's how it's always been and how it will always be. I saw first hand how much the kids needed their mom's undivided attention. I prayed to my Heavenly Father for guidance and I was not surprised with the answer.....
As Brent and I were going to bed, I broke down. I told him of my decision. I felt like a failure...I had to admit that I was not Supermom...
This was the second time I've had to put my studies on hold. The first time was for my little guy Joseph...all those many years of driving him to therapies, fighting the school district to give my son services, and dealing with our health insurance to cover the therapies my son so desperately needed. Due to that decision of me staying home and focusing on the kids, Joseph improved greatly and Alycia continued to excel in her studies.
I know that my Father in Heaven answers prayers. I have seen how compassionate Alycia is towards her brother when he struggles. She's truly a blessing to have around....
The evening I broke down and bawled my eyes out, Brent comforted me and supported me in my decision to put school on hold. I am so glad I married a wonderful man!
As I sit here typing, I am reminded of what a sweet friend wrote to me on FB..."There is always time for school, but only one short time to raise young kids. Don't feel guilty.".....Thanks Tiffany. I have many friends that wrote me words of encouragement and I'm blessed to be surrounded by wonderful people in my life....
As for schooling...I have no regrets for putting it on hold. I have enjoyed these past few days spending time with my family and giving my kids all of my attention. It's been a lot more peaceful here in the Smith home, and dinner's been made for the past few days...
So...I have no regrets!
