Fish Story

A week ago Anna wouldn't let me bare my testimony in church on Fast Sunday. We both thought it would be a little strange to shre how my faith in Jesus is increased by fishing. I thought I would do it here instead. Let me just say that it is a true story, every bit.

(For those of you who are not Mormon, on the first Sunday of each month church members will go to the pulpit and share their personal knowledge of how Jesus is their Savior and other aspects of their faith. They typically share a story from their personal lives of how their faith was strengthened. Sometimes you get some real weirdos up there talking about some off the wall subjects. Anna didn't want me to be included in that crowd.)

Since this isn't an official church meeting, I'm going to go ahead and tell this story as I would have liked to have heard it told if I were in a Testimony meeting. I hope this doesn't offend anyone, but you have to admit to yourself that you've already heard worse at a real testimony meeting.

Brothers and Sisters, I want to tell you how the Lord helped me catch 5 fish with my bare hands yesterday.

Now, I'm the Scoutmaster for the Young Men in our Ward, and I was asked to teach the Fish and Wildlife Management merit badge up at Scout camp this next week. One of them requirements was to either get the stomach contents of 3 fish or some scales from 5 different fish. Well, seein' as there weren't gona be no fishing ponds up at the camp, I figured I needs to get these fish guts or scales for the boys before camp and bring them up with me.

I went to the local fishin hole over at Desert Oasis park and tried to catch me some fish. I brought the wife and kids, figurin I'd have better luck with 4 pairs a hands rather than just one. But we had no luck. All I caught me was a sunburn.

I went back a few more times, but no luck. I even got to the point where I figured I would just ask folks if I could take a few of them fish scales from their fishes, but no body else caught none neither. Exceptin some catfish, but them don't got no scales (and I wasn't gonna ask if I could take their guts).

I was getting desperate. I had been prayin each time that I would be able to get me some fish, then that I might just get some scales. I wanted these Scouts to be able to have a good experience and to be able to learn about their fish. I thought the Lord would want them to be successful as well.

The final Saturday before camp had come. We left before dawn on Monday, and I wasn't gonna do no fishin on a Sunday. So this was it. It was well over 100 that day. My daughter and I went to the park and walked around askin folks about their fish. I found one guy who had caught a small Bass and was able to get a few of his scales. I was very greatful, but I prayed even harder- because 1 fish is not 5 fish, no matter how many of its scales you take.

That evenin I took my wife out to celebrate our 15th anniversary early, see'n as I would be up at camp the next week. After our date, around 10 pm, I asked if she wouldn't mind goin' to the park one last time to beg for some more fish scales. She was a good sport and was willing to give it a try.

As we were walking up the path, she tells me she don't want to bother folks for their fish scales. I told here I was right there with her, but what else can you do?

"Well," she says, "why don't you just use those fish?"

"What fish are you talking about, wife?"

"Those fish, right there!"

I turned and looked, and there were 5 fish lying right there on the shore that we walked up to. Now, I don't know if some fisherman caught them earlier in the day and threw them back or if the Lord commanded those fishes to come up and wait for me right there. I knowed He did it with His friend Peter, so maybe He'd done it for me too. Either way, they were fish and they had scales! I picked them up with my bare hands and got me my scales.

I went home rejoicing and amazed that the Lord would provide so miraculously just so his little deacons could finish their fish class.

All kidding aside, I do want to acknowledge the Lord and give him the credit for this. It really was an answer to prayer.

Brothers and Sisters, I also learned from this that the Lord has a good sense of humor. Because when I was pullin' scales off of one of them fish, I felt some water drip on my toes. (I was wearin my flip-flops.) It wasn't until I got home that I realized it wasn't water that dripped on me it was actually a giant fish turd that by now had run down all over my foot. Whoooweee - if you think fish by them selves can smell funny, just try a fish turd. Now that's a powerful stink!